Starting Over

It was two years ago yesterday. The twenty-seventh of May.

How do you rekindle a friendship, when it seems that everything is ready for it? How do you approach it all again, when you have happy memories of that past, but remember that it went sour? How do you come face to face with that person, when you feel an uneasy guilt that you might never be forgiven for? How do you establish yourselves as friends, when you still feel like you could bring that person so close to you, and share with them all the things you missed in the meantime?

How do you start over, when you're afraid you'll so easily be drawn in more than you should? Am I really afraid of it, or denying to myself that I'm actually hoping for it?


Dooey said...

Maybe insert a nonchalant reference to the good times, as you percieve them to be, next time you talk and watch to see if that spark comes to their eye.

Ben said...

That's an idea, but I'm afraid to bring up the past, because I'm almost sure that those happy memories (or heck, any memory linked to me) are hard-wired with the sadder / madder / sour memories of how our relationship ended. And the last thing I'd want to do is to hurt her more by bringing us both back to that time again.

I could, of course, continue doing what I've always been doing ... being a chicken sh!t and gliding along status quo.