iPhone vs the CAA

So ... on the way back to Vancouver some time ago (like 2-3 years ago), I brought my iPhone (2G) with me. And on the plane, like a good boy, I put the iPhone in "flight mode", meaning all the radio transmitters are immediately shut off and they don't emit radiowaves or radiation that might interfere with the aircraft's delicate electronics. Standard procedure, really.

But about mid-way through the flight, I'm using it to skip forward tracks, and one stewardess passing by (pushing the beverage cart) mentions something to another. All I heard was "iPhone", so I didn't think anything of it.

About a minute later, she comes back to me and very politely asks if this was an iPhone, to which I answer yes. She then tells me that I can't use it on the plane.

"Oh, but I put it on 'flight mode', so it's okay."
"No, sorry, you just can't use the iPhone at all on the flight."
"But in 'flight mode', all the radios and wireless are turned off, so it's just like a regular iPod now."
"According to CAA regulations, we don't allow mobile phones to be operated during the flight."
"With all the wireless turned off, it's no longer a mobile phone."
"We're told there's still some radiowaves."
"This is exactly my field of work, and I can tell you that the radio chips are not operating."
"I'm really sorry about this, it's just according to the CAA."

This is even more interesting/frustrating to me because I never had this problem when using my Sony Ericsson W800i on board.

Anyway, I leave it alone for now, pretending to put it away, but I keep using it anyhow, because dammit, I know I'm right. I think about it for a while, and then realize she said "CAA" instead of "FAA". Turns out CAA stands for Civil Aeronautics Administration, and is basically the FAA for Taiwan.

And while the FAA/TSA is quite clear about what you can and can't bring and/or operate during the flight, the CAA is a little less clear in its Information for Passengers. The CAA also doesn't really mention things specifically about airplane modes in their Laws, Regulations, Handbook & Guidelines. Even their Compliance and Enforcement Procedures webpage is still under construction!

Apple talks a bit about their airplane mode for the iPhone, but additionally mentions that you "should" be able to use it on the flights, along with disclaimers about checking with the flight authorities.

So ... has anyone else had any similar experiences with other mobile phones integrated with music players?? I suppose nowadays it's not really much of an issue. Heck, nowadays, I almost never turn my iPhone off on the plane -- I switch it to flight mode, start the music with my buds in my ears, and turn the display off. As a constant flyer, I have a well-rehearsed answer for when the flight attendants come by:

"They're not on; just using them as earplugs."

Which is a little white lie, because they are cutting out the drone of the plane noise, they're also serving as a digital music pipe into my head.

Nuri

I'm in Hong Kong right now.
See that furry white ball there?
That's a typhoon, Typhoon Nuri.
It has decided to park its ass directly on HK.

My head is in the windy wet ass of a typhoon.

Up in the Air

Travel plans all amuck.

I'm applying for a Chinese entry visa (again), so that means my passport and everything is sitting in some visa processing office. ETA is tomorrow afternoon, so then I can hop on my flight tomorrow night and go home for the weekend (before hitting Shanghai on Monday morning).

The Hong Kong weather folks have issued a T1 signal because of Typhoon Nuri. According to Hong Kong's Tropical Cyclone warning signals, a T1 signal apparently means that it can still be sunny outside and completely devoid of any resemblance to a breeze. But it also means everyone should be on standby for a real doozy of a typhoon.

It also means that, if the typhoon gets really bad tomorrow, I can't get my visa (and passport) back by tomorrow -- it would then be processed by Monday instead. And that means I can't go anywhere for the weekend: if I get my visa after the weekend, I have to stay in HK this weekend and fly straight out to Shanghai again on Monday.

This is not good.
I want to go home!

I, Macau

Quick recap.

Picked up the wife on the way to the airport on Friday evening: a weekend getaway to Macau (Macao)! She says she read on the internet that the Macao Airport is closed due to inclement weather, but called the airline and they said it's business as usual for our 8:20pm flight.

We get to the airport, and get this at the check-in counter:

"The Macau airport is closed right now due to bad weather, so we are unable to check you in. We don't have more information at this time, sorry. Here are some vouchers for Burger King, so please go have a bite to eat, and check with us again at 7:10."

That sucks. We cram into BK with the other 200-300 people who have flights bound for Macau.

7:10pm rolls around, we go back and they have no definite news. One lady (leading a tour group) is livid, gathers up a lynch mob, arguing loudly, demanding all sorts of compensation. A group of uneducated people who don't understand how customer service works (nor the concept of disempowerment) start complaining loudly too, yelling at the top of their lungs at the messenger.

I watch and take pictures from a distance. We call the travel agent and the Venetian in Macau to explore alternatives: maybe take the trip later, or have part of the pre-paid fees refunded if things don't go our way, to no avail. The angry mob subsides, and about 30 minutes later, police and security arrive to a calmed crowd lining up in orderly fashion.

We get on the earlier of two re-routed flights, taking off at 11:30pm. Free shuttle busses to/from the Venetian ended at 11:30pm, so we take a cab to the hotel.

We're in the hotel by 2am, where they tell us they have no more suites with king beds and are upgrading us for free to a two-bed suite. Turns out, "upgrade" in this instance means "trade your single king bed for two queen beds which are in no way better (though not worse either).

Shower, and sleep by 3am. Weather forecasts rain for the next day too. Lovely.

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On another note, these love handles are getting out of hand. I'm a cow. The crash diet starts today.

Wedding Photos Everywhere

If you didn't already know, we're having major issues with our photographer and the fact that he lost key parts of our wedding photos to a corrupted memory card. Basically, we lost pictures of:

- ceremony (vows, exchanging rings, kiss, and the recessional)
- group photos @ staircase
- photos @ church across the street
- group photos in front of hotel (both families)
- photos in garden area behind church

This has been amplified by him formatting and reusing the card (probably out of inexperience with how to deal with data loss), so of those lost photos, he was able to recover only 35. To add pressure to the situation, Jiro remained rather silent and somewhat uncooperative in the aftermath, and didn't even bother to offer some token refund or discount!

Yeah.
Don't even get me started.
I'm livid enough already.

He's come back with justifications and a "let's focus on the positive" which is all fine and dandy, but the long and short of it is that we are missing photographic memory chunks out of important parts of the day from him.

And now, everywhere I look -- photography blogs, photo frame sample images, posters on the street -- I see wedding photos. And they only serve as a stinging reminder of what I don't have from my own day.

At least I got the girl.

Clenched

This stress is overwhelming me, and from all sides of life, too. My eyebrows are constantly furrowed into an untrimmed unibrow. My teeth and jaw are sore from being continually clenched tightly these two weeks. I'm getting double-handed b!tchslapped by life right now, and not enjoying it.

Plus, it's raining outside.

Back Me Up

Two days after the shock, we were walking around a popular area (通化街) of Taipei where people routinely walk on the street -- the actual street, not just the sidewalks -- and cars need to be especially wary of pedestrians.

A car came out of an alleyway, with lots of people walking in front of it. As is customary in Taipei, the car edges forward, hoping to create a break in the flow of humans to turn left onto the street.

Just as I was walking by, however, the driver didn't seem to want to come to a full stop for me. I kept my course, and she did too, barely nicking me. It was a close call, and too close for my comfort (and patience at the time).

I was ready.

I turned after just passing the corner of the car, bent down slightly, and slapped the hood with my hand. I stared right into the driver's eyes with a look that probably conveyed that neither she nor her passenger should get out of the car and confront me. Not right now.

And secretly, I was hoping they would. I was ready to get into a scrap. I needed a punchbag, and someone I didn't know, and anyone who had wronged me (even so minorly) would do just fine.

They didn't get out of the car, avoided further eye contact altogether, and we parted ways.

Right behind me, there was my brother backing me up, ready to join in on the fistivities.

That's family, baby.

I Feel Like ...

So I'm back at work for a bit, and my iPhone starts playing this random song*: Ludacris' "Slap" (lyrics here). I so echo that ... perhaps I should make it the theme song for my next little while!

---
* I have a lot of random songs that I haven't cleaned the ID3 tags for yet, so I'm discovering songs in my own library! My poor memory also helps to create the illusion of constantly having new music in my library, even if I have none.

Constant Thoughts

It's been like this since Thursday.

When I wake in the morning, it's her. The last thoughts before I sleep are about her. I just can't stop thinking about her.

I have a pounding headache that just won't away. We all do. It's starting to create a permanent furrowed brow on my face.

I walk around with a dark cloud hanging over me. Even when I'm smiling, there's a somber tone to it. I'm almost sure people can see it pretty obviously, but in certain ways, I don't give a sh!t.

I'm more inclined to pick fights and feel justified for it, as if I will be able to redeem everything by making sure someone else suffers too.

And yet, this all pales in comparison when I think about how he must be doing with all of this going on.

Other People's Crap

It's T-shirt weather today. The sun is out, there's a slight breeze, and it's nice and warm (23C). What a refreshing change from all the bullsh!t -- other people's bullsh!t, no less -- that I'm having to deal with in recent days. Seriously stressed out.

Irrational

Look, I don't mind when people are irrational in their thoughts or decisions. I don't care if people want to do things that jeopardize themselves or ruin the way people see them or whatever.

As long as it doesn't affect me.

But now it's having an impact on me and my plans. And that's pissing me off.

Born Every Minute

I'm a regular person; I have strengths and I have weaknesses.

I'm a sucker for Apple stuff. That kind of attention to detail, that consideration for the overall user experience, just makes me want to throw blank cheques at their coffers.

I'm a sucker for a good burger. It reminds me of a sunny afternoon, whether just grilling in the backyard or at the beach, or sitting outside a deli and enjoying the sights of the park.

I'm a sucker for a sweet smile and a kind word. After all, in this world where everyone is getting increasingly grouchy, who isn't? You'd be surprised how far a kind demeanor can really get your these days.

But I'm definitely not a sucker for girls who are trying to be all cutesy/whiney. At this firm, there are tons of girls like that. They plead with you to work faster and meet their deadlines so they can look good in front of the customer. No, sorry, it doesn't work on me, sorry. Plus, those deadlines are usually just fabricated anyhow, so I make sure to check first with the client directly. Never trust a cutesy girl; as one of my ex-bosses warned me, they are trouble!

So, that's me. What are you a sucker for?

Money Back Guarantee

So I sent in a request to get a waiver/refund on some charges I had before, and after two weeks, I noticed that there wasn't an updated credit to my account. I emailed and asked about it, and this is the super helpful response I got:

Thanks for your email. Due to the volume of submissions we are unable to confirm receipt of each one. If you wish to receive a confirmation, please print one from the fax machine that you sent your fax from or complete the online opt out form. All who have submitted complete opt out/waiver forms will have the fees reversed to their account by the end of February.

Sorry? So my confirmation that you got my request form is my fax machine's little fax report? How did you leap that chasm of logic, may I ask??

I'm just going to take it to mean that as long as I sent a request form, they are basically guaranteeing that the credit will be applied, and that they have no excuses because they're that confident. Fine. I eagerly await my money back.

Santa, Baby

Well, just got back from upstairs, where our office hosted a little Christmas party for the employees with a gift exchange and snacks/refreshments. Here's a rundown of how things went for me:

15:00 - Leave my Dilbert cubicle, head upstairs to Ground Zero.
15:05 - Lady at the table with all the gifts says we should start raffling for which gift we get, so I reach my hand in and pull out a number (14).
15:06 - Director (of another group) tells us to hold off until he can give a speech.
15:10 - Speech, and announcement of Christmas Decoration winners.
15:15 - Gift exchange and refreshments: gift exchangers (participating people) go to get their gifts and open them, everyone else head towards the food table.
15:20 - Gift is opened, and it's not disappointing because I've already lowered my expectations appropriately. Head outside to the food table.
15:25 - It's empty. Cleaned out like Costco samples on Sunday morning.
15:26 - Have a milk tea instead.

So if you participated in the gift exchange, you were basically punished by being distracted getting a gift that usually was not what you wanted in a million years (and likely deemed worthless by the whole of humanity). I say distracted, because while you were spending your time pretending to be all pleasantly surprised with your gift, everyone else was spending theirs pretending to be a pack of hyenas attacking the prey food table. So by the time I got out of the gift exchange, the displayed trays of cakes and snacks were mysteriously replaced with stacked trays of crumbs. It's no wonder gift exchange participation has reportedly been rather sparse in recent years. (At least there was enough milk tea left for me to fill a Dixie cup and retreat back to my cubicle again. For that, I'm thankful.)

This is by far the least Christmasy of all Christmases I've ever spent. But here's hoping that yours is going better than mine: Merry Christmas!

A Friendly Tip

Okay, I realize that the timing of this post is going to make it sound a little bah-humbug-ish, but it still needs to be said. I have a personal rule about tipping: if you don't provide the service, you don't get the tips.

No, no, I mean, I'll leave a tip regardless (of service), but the question is how much. And I definitely don't tip 15% as a "just because" standard: I tip 10%, and it can go either way from there based on the experience of the event.

I can hear a lot of you (certainly if you've had a job before in a service industry) who are screaming bloody murder, going,

"Waiters/waitresses/service people rely on tips to survive, since their wages are low."

Well, guess what? I don't give a sh!t if the wages suck -- they took the job and they knew how much they were going to be paid, and they knew very well that part of they livelihood relied on that tip income. So, logically, instead of just expecting a fat tip at the end, isn't really just all the more reason for them to do a good job at whatever it is they're doing??

Consider it a performance bonus: you perform (or exceed expectations*) and you get a nice bonus; if you don't, you'll know that you deserved it.

I've been in a position like that before, and no tipping was allowed, but we still did a good job.

Look, I don't mind tipping handsomely if I'm pleased with the experience, but they need something to show for it. I once spotted a cab driver an extra $20 for racing me to the airport because I was late for a flight. I've paid extra when I found service staff extremely attentive, elevating the experience of our stay at a hotel or all those kinds of things. I think that's fair.

In Taiwan, there's no tip. And taxes are included in the price: it's WYSIWYG. One might expect service in Taiwan to be fairly crappy, but the culture has been educated to a point where the service is courteous and polite (albeit it sometimes difficult to get a point across). That said, some restaurants are getting into the (horrible) habit of tacking on a 10% "service charge" for basically no reason -- the service staff don't see any of it, and the restaurant pretty much uses it to cover their basic wages instead.

Alright, let the flaming begin.
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* Don't forget that the quality of service is directly measured against the customer/client expectations.

Apathy, then Acceptance

In my business, clients are far less educated on our services (and how things work in general) than they should be. I know, you're saying that's true of just about any industry, but I've noticed it far more in this one than anywhere else. And yet, that doesn't seem to be stop them from making specific demands and requests that are directly sabotaging to their project outcomes, even though I've warned them countless times.

But alas, as they say, "The customer is always right."

Except that the customer is actually wrong most of the time, but my current company's culture -- I even dare say that it's a mandate directly from the CEO -- is one of:

"Do whatever the customer wants, even if it's detrimental to their position. And even if it means somewhat giving up our integrity."

Part of the motivation is the way our pricing structure works: much like a law firm, we charge for every paperwork/documentation action that we undergo on behalf of the client. So if the present submission is imperfect, prompting a kickback from the authorities, then that requires additional work on our part ... and that requires additional funds from the customer for us to do this work.

In essence, submitting something that is almost guaranteed to come back again actually adds to our bottom lines (and, indirectly, to our individual paycheques). In all truth, 95% of the projects we handle would come back anyway, whether we did it to our most exacting standards or to the customers' ignoramus ones. But following client wishes is what turns a two-action project into a five-action ordeal. Funny thing is, even the customers are happy to pay us for every document action we process.

From the above, one would expect that most employees just keep their mouths shut and trudge along with the company culture, because everybody wins, right?

But, see, I operate differently here. I question ideas and processes, scoff at things that don't make sense, and for all this boat-rocking, I'm not so loved. In fact, I'll bet that my division in the company (where we all kind of rebel against this status quo) is somewhat frowned upon by others.

[shrug] Sooner or later, the fight in me will subside, the sparkle fade from my eyes, and I will become a drone in the machine that is this firm. But hopefully, I'll be able to save myself from this drowning before that happens.

Monet ... Don't Punch Back

There are stupid people, gutsy stupid people, and then there are people who just have no sense of ... well, anything. I mean, why would you break into a museum and then punch a hole in a priceless painting? You guys are losers.

1 + 1 Ain't 2

I walked up to the counter beside all the hanging meats dripping with the fatty aroma of roasted flavour. In the distance, behind the back wall, I could hear the frantic stirfrying and deepfrying of several orders at once.

"I'd like a chicken chowmein [雞絲炒麵]."

The crabby lady looked at me like I was ordering a pizza at Burger King.

"We don't have that."
"You don't have chicken chowmein?"
"No. See? It's not on the menu."

I knew it wasn't on the menu, but I wanted chicken chowmein [雞絲炒麵]. I scanned the menu to see they had chicken on various other menu items, but (as she rightfully pointed out) not on chowmein (fried noodles).

Now, I know a little about cooking, but I guess it was just silly of me to assume that stirfrying chicken and frying noodles could be combined in a way to create "chicken and fried noodles".

Still, I attempted to reason with her instead of following the strict letter of the menu. I tried to break it down for her, into little bitesize brain morsels as I had with the plastic knife incident.

"... but you serve chowmein?"
"We have pork chowmein [肉絲炒麵]."
"So, you have chowmein." It was obvious, but I wanted to hear her say it.
"Yes." She was starting to lose interest in this conversation.
"And you have chicken, right?"

There was a long pause as she stared blankly at me with a that's-a-moronic-question look. A second later, something clicked and she caught on to my point. With an aire of a Noodle Nazi, she cut off the argument.

"We don't have chicken chowmein."

I had a mapo tofu over rice [麻婆豆腐飯].

Skill-Testing Question

I have this innate ability to confuse the young people of Taiwan.

For breakfast this morning, I walked into the 7-11 and paid for my microwaveable dumplings. As he heats them up for me, I ask in what I consider to be perfectly and easily understandable Mandarin,

"Do you have any plastic knives?"

That seemed to be all it took to hijack his cognitive abilities. He stared at me for a while as his brain ground back to life from the apparent short circuit, and as his three neurons woke up, they got to working on solving the enormous problem at hand. First, he clarified and defined the problem:

"Plastic knife?"
"Yes, plastic knife."

I was patient, and I truly wanted to help him beat this one. Plus, I figured I'd humour him. He was getting there, albeit it slower than I would have preferred.

"Plastic?"
"Plastic."
"Knife?"

At this point, I thought, we have to move faster than this. Maybe I shouldn't have given him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe I should clarify it for him to move it along.

"Knife. A knife," I confirmed, while showing both my hand as a knife, and then showing a cutting action as if I were holding a knife.

He still didn't get it. Maybe he just needed some context because he was more questioning where my question came from. Perhaps another hint would clue him in.

"I see you have some disposable chopsticks and straws, and plastic forks. Do you have any plastic knives?"

His dazed gaze lowered from me over to the containers of disposable utensils by the till. In a stupendous display of the kind of stupidity that would make him second only to a certain current American president, he reached over and fondled a plastic fork (in its individual packaging). It took several seconds, but eventually, the three overclocked neurons conjured up some additional speech.

"No, we just have plastic forks."

That, of course, wasn't true -- I had just noted to him that they also had chopsticks and such -- but it was enough of an answer that I just accepted it and moved on.

That is by far not the first time I've ever confused the youth of Taiwan (in service positions) with simple questions. Once, at a "Japanese" restaurant around the corner from work, while trying to decipher the disorganized lunch menu, I inquired about their lunch offerings:

"What noodle soups do you have?"

The boy drew his finger down the menu, and his answer was swift and confident ...

"Five."

... but missed the point, and wrong anyway. There were 4.

"No no, what kind of noodle soups do you have?"

But I quickly stopped and decided to give up on it. I picked a noodle soup item that I saw out of the menu.

"What's in the '[undescriptive name] noodle soup'?"

And that did it: I crashed the boy's brain. He stood there, rebooting his head, and mustered a small response.

"I don't know."

A rather long pause followed. I suppose he was expecting me to take that non-answer and run with it. I didn't. He waited, pencil poised to take my order, ready for me to run with that non-answer. I still didn't. He waited a bit more, and then I won out:

"I'll ... uh ... go ask."

And there it was, the next logical step in providing service. But I had had enough fun for the day, and stopped him as he was about to walk off and ask. I just ordered that dish. And when it came, I wished I hadn't (a) stopped him, and (b) ordered the dish.

These are not, unfortunately, isolated incidents. The young people of Taiwan are dropped IQ points like deuces, and they've long lost the ability to even realize they are.

G Block

So a day or two ago, I noticed that Gtalk wasn't connecting from my work computer. Our IT Dept is always messing something up -- or un-optimizing something that was only so-so before, so that it runs just a little bit slower/worse now -- so I chalked it up to one of their experiments.

But it's been two days now, and I am now pretty certain they've gone and G-blocked us. MSN was always blocked, as was YIM, and Gtalk is their newest addition. Skype, for some reason, has been left wide open, and that's what most of my coworkers have resorted to for IM chatting; IT "justified" it by saying it's VOIP, so it could be used for work purposes. (Never mind that Skype basically floods the network with other people's traffic, which slows us down.) So the long and short of it is that I am without a messaging client at work now. [sigh] It's like I'm in prison (minus the sodomy).

You can find me in G Block.
And visiting hours are over.