1 + 1 Ain't 2

I walked up to the counter beside all the hanging meats dripping with the fatty aroma of roasted flavour. In the distance, behind the back wall, I could hear the frantic stirfrying and deepfrying of several orders at once.

"I'd like a chicken chowmein [雞絲炒麵]."

The crabby lady looked at me like I was ordering a pizza at Burger King.

"We don't have that."
"You don't have chicken chowmein?"
"No. See? It's not on the menu."

I knew it wasn't on the menu, but I wanted chicken chowmein [雞絲炒麵]. I scanned the menu to see they had chicken on various other menu items, but (as she rightfully pointed out) not on chowmein (fried noodles).

Now, I know a little about cooking, but I guess it was just silly of me to assume that stirfrying chicken and frying noodles could be combined in a way to create "chicken and fried noodles".

Still, I attempted to reason with her instead of following the strict letter of the menu. I tried to break it down for her, into little bitesize brain morsels as I had with the plastic knife incident.

"... but you serve chowmein?"
"We have pork chowmein [肉絲炒麵]."
"So, you have chowmein." It was obvious, but I wanted to hear her say it.
"Yes." She was starting to lose interest in this conversation.
"And you have chicken, right?"

There was a long pause as she stared blankly at me with a that's-a-moronic-question look. A second later, something clicked and she caught on to my point. With an aire of a Noodle Nazi, she cut off the argument.

"We don't have chicken chowmein."

I had a mapo tofu over rice [麻婆豆腐飯].