Real Pee

[We haven't touched on this topic for a while, and I know you miss it.]

I'm not sure how to explain this one. Here goes.

Sometimes I stand at the urinal and when I start peeing, it feels ... less real. Like, the difference between kind of peeing, and really peeing.

And sometimes I just get that thought of,

"What if this is just a dream that I'm peeing, but in real life, I'm actually wetting my bed? Hmm ... should I stop?"

Yeah, I'm weird like that. What. Get off my back already: it's Friday.

10 comments:

Rich and Angel said...

I occasionally but infrequently have dreams where I'm taking a crap, sometimes with people around me while I'm on a toilet. Once, I had a dream I was in a wheelchair that also doubled as a toilet. Now tell me that isn't weird.

Rose said...

You guys are all weird! I never dream of myself going to the bathroom in any manner! It's still only Thurs for us... =(

Ce said...

I often have to pee in real life while I'm asleep. So I end up also having to pee in my dream. But even after peeing in my dream (and not in real life), I realize in my dream, that I'm dreaming, and so I know I still have to wake up and go pee...

and the process continues in cycles - I keep dreaming that I've already gone pee and that I don't have to, but then I realize I still do. Eventually, I do wake up and pee in real life. Thankfully, I've never ended up peeing in real life while I was in bed - at least since not that I've noticed.

Momcy said...

Ce, your comment confused me! Rose is right, you guys are all weird! ;)

Anonymous said...

I'm with Ce.

I often have those pee dreams where I pee over and over again and only get very momentary relief.

-Matt

Ben said...

Maybe in our dreams, we should have the number of a good urologist handy, just in case. Then we can pull out our dream mobile phones and call them and schedule an appointment to see them first thing when we go to sleep the next night.

When I dream that I have to pee, I think a part of me also knows that I need to pee in real life, so in my dream pee, it's never quite as leg-shakingly shoulder-quiveringly satisfying as a real pee. Kna'mean?

Anonymous said...

Breaking the the pee dream cycle...

Get into the habit of asking yourself "Is this a dream?" at frequent intervals throughout the day. Once the habit has ingrained, you will eventually remember to ask yourself the same question while you are dreaming. The first time you ask this question and the answer comes up yes, you can tell yourself to wake up and go pee.
-James

Ce said...

But James, in my dreams, I know I'm dreaming and that I really need to wake up to pee. But then I just end up dreaming that I'm awake and going pee, later I realize that "hey, i still have to pee, that means that earlier, I only dreamt that I woke up to pee" ... you see how it's an infinite loop?

Rich and Angel said...

I had a dream last night where I couldn't stop peeing. If I have to pee in my dreams I seem to have a gigantic bladder and also run into people who try to push me around as I'm peeing. I must be regressing back to elementary school.

Back to what James Anonymous said, rather than wake yourself up if you realize that you're in a dream, why not take over your dream instead?

Ben said...

If people bother you while you're peeing, turn around and hose 'em down. I think you'll find that's the last time they try that.