Reflections of a Personal Kind

Mirrors are a great tool used by interior designers. They make things look bigger: rooms, hallways, your ass in that dress. And they're generously used in some nice hotels as well. They use it in the bathroom of my hotel room. No, I don't mean in front of the mirror -- every bathroom has one of those. No, they have an extra one, a full-height one, as the wall of the bathtub. Yeah. There.

With it, I now give myself full frontal nudity each time I shower. And as most of you could guess, I can guarantee you this is not a pretty sight.

But wait, there's more!

With the mirror where it is, it gets worse. I now side-moon myself each time I sit on the crapper. That, I really don't need to see. Who needs to watch themselves on the toilet??

And it's directly opposite the regular mirror, which means I don't just see myself on the toilet. No, no, that's getting off too easily. The two mirrors make a tunnel: a reflective tunnel of millions of perpetual, identical Bens going on forever. All sitting on the porcelain poo station, all moving in unison, all getting up at the same time to wipe their ass.

Lovely.

9 comments:

Naomi said...

Sue the hotel for indecent exposure. But they might countersue since you were the offending party in the incident(s). But you could rebut that you were forced to; you had no choice! Then they might argue that you could've just covered the mirror up....

Ben said...

... which I did. I just pulled the shower curtain closed; never really appreciated a shower curtain so much before! The sight was really blinding on account of my pale white butt.

Anonymous said...

The bathroom that my sister and I shared from our childhood home has a mirror on the wall of the bathtub. Growing up with the mirror there, I guess I'm more accustomed than most.

More often, I am astonished and amused by the reactions of others when they have their first encounters. Oh how they muster their discomfort and fascination! ^_~

Master Bull said...

It could be worse. It could be a one-way mirror and there a pictures/videos of you floating on the internet.

Ben said...

Worse for who? For me, the would-be instant Internet celebrity?

Or worse for the viewer, who -- just for being curious and opening that email attachment named "hotel bathroom mirror video.mov" -- has the image of my pale ass (while dropping deuces, no less) burned into their retina?

Aliasa, I guess the positive side is that you always have company in the bathroom. I mean, it's like sitting in the toilet with you in the neighbouring glass stalls!

Rose said...

Hahahahaha...

Anonymous said...

My thoughts exactly Rose....
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

This entry totally cheered me up today :)

Kevin said...

What gets me is when I'm at someone's house (usually my parents' friend's), and I go to the washroom for a tinkle, and there's a mirror that extends to behind the toilet (above it, of course). So, while I'm there dehydrating, I get to watch myself leaking as I make funny splashy noises going left to right and back again.

Kevin said...

Umm... to add to my comment, it's really not as fun as it sounds.