Dream a Little Dream

Some nights ago, I dreamt something that really drove home that this issue is bothering me pretty deeply. Here's what I can remember (based on some notes I typed out just after waking from it).

In the dream, I had done something wrong; it was something bad/illegal. Anyway, I had been hiding (it) for a long time, all the time guilt-ridden, letting it ride heavily on my conscience. After a while, I thought I had put it behind me, given it closure in my life. And I had, kind of.

But there I was, cleaning up the mess I had made, returning whatever it was I had stolen or trying to fix whatever it was I had done. In the "scene", I was actually packing things up into a large suitcase, getting ready to move/run after I had returned to the scene of the crime. (It was right on the sidewalk, where I was packing up, strangely.)

And cops were swarming all over the place, working on other cases, responding to other calls. Nothing to do with me, and they weren't even suspecting me, but it felt like they were closing in on me (my own pressure put on myself).

My ex drives by, sees me crouched over the suitcase, fumbling frantically. She casts me a scornful look and says, "Looks like they're coming for you. Too bad we're broken up and you screwed up, or I would cover for you."

And she drove off. I couldn't blame her.

Youch. But hey, what do I expect, really. Even in my dreams. Except that, well, I could dream about anything in my dreams, and that is what my silly little peanut-brain comes up with. No wonder I haven't been sleeping well lately -- nothing like a haunting like that, huh? Happy Halloween.