Face It

An Awkward day, with a capital A. I went to my ex-company in the Bay Area today, mainly for informal meetings with the managers. Of course, my ex also works there, so I had lunch with her.

It's the first time seeing her since breaking up, the first time in about 9 months, the first time since many things have happened. She looks great, she really does, but then that always happens post-breakup, doesn't it?

I think it was good, for her to say a lot of things that were on her mind, straight to me (or at me, as the case may be). Of course, nothing I said could make any difference. Nothing ever does when you're the accused. Still, I felt good that we left with some laughs in our conversation, but generally dark for the rest of the day (and night).

There's nothing like an ex's view on our relationship to make me feel terribly lonely in life. I want to cry, but something won't let it out -- that something seems never to want to.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Why do you feel lonely in life? Maybe it is because you shut everyone out?

head dump said...

I never got to hear any of my ex's view on past relationships. I'd rather not. It'll probably make me feel like shit too.

ceaz said...

I did get to hear my ex's view of my past relationship. I disagreed with most of it.

miscmusings said...

=(
Well, I was glad to see you.

Van said...

I think my own hindsight is more important. Looking back, that last ex was a sheep, not a sheperd. He worshipped his friends and but was always in their shadows, always copying. But when you're in the thick of things and he seems so much better than the one before, you sometimes don't see the forest through the trees. OK enough of the analogies.

Nk said...

What a coinkidink...
http://lifestyle.sympatico.msn.ca/Relationships/Articles/TS+HowToPlayItCoolDuringAnExSighting_v2.htm

Ben said...

Well, seems like I did alright by that MSN/Sympatico article. But then, I never intended to lie or fake in front of her anyway during this post-relationship meeting. In fact, I was the one who requested it!

Anyhow, I guess I just wished that we could be friends after the breakup. It's something that I've always wanted, because they know me deeply, and that's worth so much in a friend.

Oh well.