Like High Fructose Corn Syrup

There's nothing quite as sweet as spending an hour hunting down and killing (mercenary style) the four mosquitos who had enjoyed their last 2 hours tagteaming you and causing in excess of 15 bites across your arms, legs, neck, and even your chin in exact spots that will surely cause you the most irritation during the course of a day while rubbing against your shirt cuffs, shoes, collar, or whatever ... but it's okay because it's so exceptionally satisfying to swat each one to incapacitate them, and then violently squeeze their insides out between some layers of tissue paper.

What does dampen the sugary sweetness, though, is realizing that the blood you just spilled in the apartment was really originally your own. But still.

5 comments:

Ben said...

There: five. Now I can sleep better tonight.

And a special thanks to Attack Cat for being my weapon of choice in this hunt.

Momcy said...

Poor mosquitoes! I'm on their sides. U sick animal! :) :)

Ben said...

Careful I don't squash you along with them; if you're not part of the solution, you're one of the mosquitos!

Six. But I think there's still another one here. Desperate times call for desperate measures. I've taken to locking each room down when I feel like I've cleared it.

And by the way, leg hairs are excellent warning systems before they get a chance to land and bite.

Oh, there it is ... and there we go. Seven. (Well, not yet. But I'll get him before I sleep.)

hougee said...

i think i should ship u one of these...
http://www.acehardware.com/product/index.jsp?productId=1378736

Kevin said...

Actually, Ben, you can buy one of those zappers anywhere in Taipei too! And just in time for the premiere of Star Wars III.

What you should do is, hang the racket zapper just above your body (like Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible) and tape the button to be on always. And that way, any mosquitos trying to get to you MAY find certain death before they make it. On the other hand, when you wake up, there's a chance you'll get criss-cross marks on your face.