To Whom It May Concern ...

Dear spammer,

Thank you for your pleasant inquiry. I was a little surprised to read your email, because from the subject, I thought it was an email from a friend or colleague. At the moment, I have no need for your services because ...

- I don't have a printer, and therefore need no toner/ink.
- My penis doesn't need enlarging nor help getting it up.
- My mortgage rates are already currently nil.
- I don't care if she's alone and daddy's not home.
- I have enough cash to last at least until payday.
- I don't want to make money from the comfort of my own home.
- I'm an engineer; I can fix my own PC.
- Call me suspicious, but I just don't believe that $65 Rolex is real.
- I just saved $500/year on my insurance.
- I'm not in debt so there's nothing to consolidate.
- I already have a webcam, and it's just fine without your X10 technology.
- I'm not looking to lose weight fast.
- And why would I pay you, when I can download those pictures for free elsewhere?

I understand that I could be forgoing an unbelievable once-in-a-lifetime deal that expires soon (or while quantities last). I will keep your email on file for a period of up to 48 hours, and if I find in the future that I require any of your services, I will be sure to contact you.

Again, thank you for your email. I bid you good day.

Ben
Senior Spammee