Breast implants come in silicone (though I think they're moving away from those now), and saline solutions, and I'm sure other substances. But those all weigh the girl down, and I'm sure it won't look right when they're kickin' 50 or 60. So hey, what about making them with helium in them? This should fulfill the normal purposes that breast implants are done for, and at the same time lighten the load and make them seem more perky! And heck, why not have helium bra inserts as well? I'm a genius, I tell you.

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