Off the Cuff

Point of enlightenment: it would be a Bad ThingTM to be wiping your butt and then accidentally get some poo on your dress shirt cuff. Because that smell doesn't really come out except with thorough washing, and you'd be sporting some serious eau de toilette for the rest of the day.

(No, I didn't have this happen to me, but the thought of such danger did dawn upon me as I was wiping my ass this morning. I mean, at least with streak marks, they're hidden.)

6 comments:

Rich and Angel said...

Ben,

Simple solution to the streak marks:

1. Wipe until no more streaks on paper. If you've got a leaky butt because you ingested too much chilly oil that might be a problem.

2. Don't buy white underwear. Buy dark coloured underwear. Streak marks become much more difficult to see. That way when somebody is removing your pants for you, there's nothing to turn her off.

Cyrus said...

if you're worried about soiling your cuffs, perhaps wrap them with toilet paper too? if you're already wrapping the toilet seat, might as well....eh?

Ben said...

RnA, your in-depth knowledge on streak marks is both interesting and frightening. And I have to say, I didn't know that chili oil was a culprit for leaky butt syndrome, although I don't have LBS.

My best solution so far has been simply to roll up the sleeve on the wiping arm, and then wiping. Should I be so unlucky as to have swipes on my hand, I can wash it off, and then replace the sleeve back down afterwards, poo-free.

Poo. Poooooooo. Poo. That's a funny word. I like saying it. But not smelling it, especially on my cuff.

Rose said...

Ben, that's just gross man...

Ben said...

So you know what I'm talking about, then? What has been your solution in the past, Rose?

Rose said...

Ben, don't assume I know what you're talking about.. your fascination with fecees is beyond me. Eeeewwwww...