Lookit Me

Eye contact is important in communication, and I'm not that good at it. My issue is that I don't keep good eye contact. When I'm talking, my eyes often get diverted to things down the hall, outside the window, on the desk, whatever. My dialogue doesn't suffer, but people might get the impression that I'm simply not paying as much attention as they would like.

And when I try to keep with the good eye contact, it feels a little awkward. So when I'm talking to some people, I don't know if my eye language is coming off as too forward, too shy/polite, whatever. Because sometimes it shows genuine interest in the other person's words, sometimes is shows they have your full attention, and sometimes it shows that you're really making an effort to get to know them. But, you know, sometimes it just really feels like staring.

I figure that if your eyes start watering or drying out, you've definitely established eye contact for too long.

5 comments:

head dump said...

You might want to ask someone if you make good eye contact. Because if you think you don't, and you attempt to engage more than you need to, you might come off was freaky. Have you ever talked to someone who keeps their eyes on you constantly? FREAKY!!

Rich and Angel said...

Look at their eyes. Count to 10. Glance elsewhere momentarily. Look at their eyes again. Count to 15. Glance elsewhere. Count to 20. Glance. Count to 5. Glance. Repeat Cycle. See if that works.

Ben said...

... and at what point during your counting are you actually paying attention to what the other person is saying, and able to coherently add value to the dialog? (Note: girls hate it when you don't do the above.) I suggest you not count.

But that's the whole problem, head dump, I don't want to come off like a gawking buffoon (more than I have to). I'm actually pretty sure that I make LESS eye contact than normal people. I like to look at other things while talking to people. (Note: I doubt that girls like this too much either.)

Momcy said...

I guess you have not watch "Judge Judy" yet, she'll tell you to " LOOK AT ME WHEN I AM TALKING TO YOU"! She is freaky!

Rich and Angel said...

I don't actually count but I look, look away, look again, look away at somewhat random intervals. But I don't stare. That was just an approximation.