Fighting Back

They left me alone for a while -- maybe they simply forgot, amidst surviving the typhoons -- but they seem to have come back again. And this time, I'm not taking it lying down.

Here's what I heard: when a mosquito bites into you, you're supposed to flex. And apparently, your flexed muscle will hold the mosquito's tube in there so that they can't escape, forcing blood into him/her. The rumoured result is that you can actually make the little bugger "pop" from the blood pressure. And I heard this from a whom-I-thought-was-relatively-reliable source.

"Really?" I asked.
"Not sure," he admitted. "That's what someone told me."

So much for that. But I have a different theory.

I figure that if you feel the mosquito bite in already, you should just let them finish sucking your blood, and then reward it with a cruel and sudden death. Death by hand, death by foot, death by whipping towel, death by electricution, I don't care. Just death.

Why do I suggest this? Because mosquitos have to inject some gunk into your bloodstream before sucking the blood out. This gunk (there's a scientific name for this) stops your blood from clotting (which I presume would kill it) while it's sucking or digesting or whatever. So it sucks out your blood when it's mixed with some of that whatever-stuff in it. I figure that if you kill the mosquito once it bites, chances are it's already injected you with junk, and that's going to create a major mosquito-bite-welt around the puncture. Instead, let the bug suck some if that stuff back out in their normal course.

Then smack the crap out of that thing. And bask in the primal glory of being the hunter.

3 comments:

Kevin said...

My two cents... which are worth more than just two cents.

1) Killing a mosquito after it's full off your sangrian drink will cause a nasty mess -- usually in the form of a streak of blood and bug bits smeared across your hand and the other surface used towards its instant death.

2) I've interrupted mosquitos during their thirst-quenching activities to terminate their puny lives... and I don't think I've ever experienced blood clots.

3) Death by electricution?! Hahah... that's RIDICULOUS!! Where the heck would you find a chair and helmet that wuold fit it?! Hahahaa... psssh, check out this guy with "death by electricution"...

Rich and Angel said...

Death by electrocution is easy. Just buy one of those electric fly swatters and you'll fry the bugger instantly...

Of course, you may get a nasty jolt yourself.

Kevin said...

Someone just has to take the humour out of everything.

I KNOW there're electric flyswatters. I bought him one.