Snoop Girly Girl

A while back, I went to see "Little Black Book", which is a movie about what a girl discovers when urged (by her evil friends) to go through her boyfriend's PDA while he's away on business. In short, it's about how she goes psycho in a tsunami of distrust in her man.

I've heard of such things happening. I know of people who will check their partners' emails and call logs in the suspicion that something's happening behind their backs. More often than not, it's the girl who (in some sort of emotional fury) is snooping in her boyfriend's stuff, but it definitely goes both ways.

This movie struck a chord with me, and I still don't understand the thoughts that must be going through one's head as they embark on that witch hunt.

What are they hoping to get out of it? Clearly, they think something is there, and they hope to find it, to uncover the scandal within. And when they do, all hell will break loose:
- there will be a verbal fisticuffs, much drama
- they will cut the other person off
- the relationship will end
- they will be better off by themselves, happy ending and all that good stuff

Great plan. Except I see it as a self-fulfilling prophecy, based on the personalities that typically come into this situation. This person (let's for convenience's sake label this as a "her") starts on a quest that seems relatively harmless at first, but she suspects him of things. Evil things. Bad things. Sometimes these are founded, sometimes they're not. Either way, there is probably little benefit of doubt granted here. And when an initial search turns up nothing, the mentality isn't that "there is nothing to hide", but rather ...

"No no, I know it's there. Something's fishy. I just haven't found it. I'm probably not looking hard enough; must try harder. Oh, I'll find it."

This cycle doesn't seem to end. It just goes on, driving our little friend deeper and deeper into this craziness. Soon, she becomes literally desperate to find something to sabotage the relationship with -- it's almost as if she wants let hell break loose.

What does it stop? When she's convinced that she's found something. The smoking gun. That "undeniable evidence" that really is deniable, and possibly could be easily explained, except that she's already decided beforehand that it's unrefutable evidence. So either way, the judge has ruled. Whatever the questionable evidence was, it has indeed created a major rift between the two, made for an heated turn of events, the end of a relationship, and perhaps a contract to sell the rights of such a story to a major movie production company.

Great. Did the snooper win? Or is everyone left heartbroken? And what was the point again? Tell me a story you've heard about such an event, or please offer something from the "other side" as to why this all happens. I don't get it.