Not Here

I woke up this morning with a frightening realization: I'm not where I want to be in my life. Not mentally, not financially, not emotionally. And my first thought was to run to hEr and tell hEr everything, hoping that I could get my life back on track.

12 comments:

Ce said...

I wake up several times in the middle of the nights with a frightening realization that I'm not where I want to be in my life. I'm always tempted to run to Her, hoping that I could get my life back on track.

I know what you mean...

Anonymous said...

And my first thought was to run to hEr and tell hEr everythingKind of a curious tangent thought:

when guys do/think that, "run to HER," is that a good thing for the woman? does it show she's the one stable thing in your life? does it mean something more to you?

- aliasa

Ben said...

Is it a good thing for the woman? That depends on what she wants, right? And you can't really know that until you've tried and asked. I mean, if she doesn't want what you want, then you have to respect her and go your separate ways, knowing once and for all. And then the tough part is convincing yourself to give up that hope.

I'm not sure if it necessarily equates to her being the "one stable thing in [one's] life". It's not even necessary that she be "stable", unless that's what you want to run towards. It could be her spice, her attitudes to life, her personality, the way she carries herself overall, all of those things. It could just be the way you spent your time together. None of this need be stable, any more than it needs to be anything else.

I guess my thought this morning was that, in the sudden fear of realizing I've veered far from where I wanted to be, my first thought was to tell hEr.

Anonymous said...

one step at a time, one girl at a time.

Anonymous said...

Here's an even more frightening realization if you don't already know it. NO ONE will EVER be where they want in their life, mentally, financially, emotionally. You can accept this now, or be like the majority who accept it at death.

Van said...

You're not the only one. Particularly among the almost-thirty crowd.

Anonymous said...

will it do any good.. are you friends that she'll listen to you and not think there are ulterior motives? WIil it make you feel better or lead you down an already familiar path of heartache and despair?

We all cling to the familiar but sometimes the familiar and comfortable isn't what will put us on the track to getting where we want to be. If it were, wouldn't we be there by now? KT

Anonymous said...

why can't you tell her?? love to help but hard when i have no context.

Van said...

if you are thinking about this person so much, you really ought to say something to her.

Momcy said...

I agree, you should talk to her once for all. Is she involve with someone now?

Ben said...

I can't tell hEr because I'm a piece of chicken sh!t. And that anonymous comment above is right: one step at a time, one girl at a time.

Don't know if sHe's involved with someone, but I imagine sHe's dating. I'm sure many guys are interested in hEr.

Anyhow, I have a headache. Must pretend to do work. Oh, or maybe it's time to eat something.

hougee said...

i think it's time to find a 4th letter for "HER"... is there going to be a such thing?
hers? herl? herm? hero? here?

:D