Soap in the Shower

So I'm in the shower (where most of my fun blog entries are born) and I'm soaping up with soap (duh).

I use soap in Taiwan, instead of shower gel. I used to use shower/bath gels in Vancouver and in the Bay Area, because I like to use a semi-soft sponge to get the lather thick and foamy, and the sponge acts as a gentle exfoliant/scrub. It just doesn't feel like I'm really showering or cleaning if I don't get a good scrub going. But in Taiwan, I'm more concerned about the sponge not drying quickly in this warm and humid climate, and the thought of scrubbing myself with a bacteria-infested sponge is not one I like to entertain at all.

So I'm in the shower and I'm soaping up with soap. I hold it one hand and pass it over my other arm or chestplate or wherever I'm washing.

Then all of a sudden, it slips out of my hand. It pops upwards, like toast, except it was soap. Mental horrors of bad drop-the-soap jokes flash through my two neurons, and I give a valiant effort to save the slippery Lux from touching the tile floor: both arms are doing the up-facing bicycle, swatting at it like a cat playing with a ball.

And while I'm frantically playing reverse yo-yo without the string, my presence of mind kicks in: I'll never catch it like this. Hell, I'm not even really trying to catch it, because I'm just smacking it up in the air! Maybe I'm hoping someone will swoop in with a net and get it. (And maybe, given my birthday suit situation, that someone could be a hot chick.)

But there's no net. And there I am, still swatting at it, even though we know that the best is to hold your hand out and let it just fall in your hand instead of trying to bring your hand up to meet the thing and (of course) end up slapping it in the air again.

I think this is just a long-winded way of affirming to the blog world that I am indeed a moron, and just passed the Level 3 Exam with flying colours. Also, to point out that when the soap is really just a thin sliver, it looks like a fish that's just caught and flapping around on the deck of the boat.