Poo Poo Platter

How often do you poo?

I've heard that you should be pooing once a day, but until recently, I wasn't really. I'm not sure that -- now that my "daily chores" are actually daily -- that my health is necessarily any better because of it. Though, back in university, I did have one friend who, to our dismay, announced that he once had not poo'd for several days straight, and it wasn't until (apparently) the sixth day or so that he'd dropped his deuce. (You can imagine that it was hard to get back to studying after that comment.) I think we can all agree that six days is definitely not healthy. But probably an amazingly satisfying drop.

So my question remains:

How often do you poo?

(I know you have something to say about this. Everyone does. It's okay. You're amongst friends here; we won't open laugh in your face. Now go on, say it.)

6 comments:

Kevin said...

Oh my... solitude has made him MAD!!!

MAD I SAY!! OOO, CHICKENS! BAAAKK BAAAAKKK!!! RUN LITTLE BIRDIES, RUN!!

Nk said...

Whoa. Living on his own has made him... well, a *freak*.

Ben, get a roommate.

Ben said...

I see that neither of you actually answered the question, preferring instead to skirt the issue and poke fun at the author.

I poo about once a day. A very satisfying once a day, I must add.

Kevin said...

You know, I think it's hard to really answer that question accurately since one's bowel movement is relative to what one eats. So, how about this:

After every deuce I drop, I come online and report it. Then, you will have not only a day's report, but the time of each occurrence. Furthermore, I will provide you with details on its color and texture, from which you may draw any relevant conclusions. I shall record smell and taste information, but withhold that from Internet publication, as it may be used against me.

I think this strategy will allow you to determine trends for a full dissertation on the subject.

Rich and Angel said...

I poo on demand.

Ben said...

Reggie, you poo on demand? So if the next time I walk up to you, I go, "Sh!t." You'll coat your tighty-whities with frowny-brownies? THAT would be a neat trick. (To poo on demand, not to slather your slights with an unsightly onslaught.)

Kevin, looking forward to your report. If you have anything confidential to say, just put it here in the comments, but put them in parentheses -- people will respect your privacy, I'm sure, and will not read those parts.