Screaming Fast

Our IT department just did me a huge favour: they boosted me into the realms of the supercomputer with this fine piece of high-tech machinery that graces the top of my desk. This morning, the IT dude came by and asked if I could shut down for a few minutes while he upgraded the beast. He tore into her innards and installed ...

Extra RAM.
He doubled it!

And now, I am soaring through the internet at breakneck speeds. Typing response is so fast that the characters come out before I even press the keys; typing is now just a confirmation of what it knows I'm going to type. And the graphics, oh, the incredible graphics that come out of this machine make HDTV look like TV from the 1960's. Even the harddrive has stopped crunching all the time, long enough for me to scroll half a page before it starts up again with its cache!

I'm telling you, this machine is awesome.

It's like having the hottest person ever be totally in love with you and you're having sex while you're on some kind of wicked-awesome drug, and you're all rich and powerful and the world is completely your oyster. Oh, and you're immortal. And you have one of the new iPods (of your choice and colour).

Yeah, that good. It's orgasmic.
Wait, no, it's better: it's multi-orgasmic.

And I get to use this machine every weekday right on my desk in front of all my other jealous coworkers. So now, me and my trusty Intel Pentium 4 3.0GHz with its fresh 512MB worth of RAM are going places. Heck, we're even glad she doesn't have a CD/DVD drive, or even a floppy, or even actual functioning USB ports -- who needs that dead weight, right?? We're totally going to kick ass in this world, and my pretty little Acer has a new zest for silicon life!

Hello, world!