Can't help it, but here's a (definitely non-exhaustive) list of things I'd like to see at the expense of people I don't know:

- Some kid walking down the street so engrossed in playing his DS lite or Gameboy or PSP that he smacks into a telephone pole or post sign. Or heck, even a building pillar -- I'm not picky.

- Some guy or girl talking on his/her mobile phone while riding the scooter -- and holding the phone in his hand too -- get into an accident. Not fatal, just face-marring, and possibly injuring their hearing in that phone ear.

- People who play underhanded office politics get dealt some of their own medicine.

- Parents who don't watch their kids, lose them in a crowded place for a few frightful minutes, and then find them later (because hey, I'm not that mean).

- Dangerous scooters (usually on pimped out rides with neon/blue lights and loud exhausts) lose control of their bike and total them. One or two broken limbs (which I do sincerely hope will heal in the future) also appreciated.

- People in service roles (bank tellers, kiosk girls, salespeople) who don't know their own services well enough, get all the tough customers and deep questions and force them to study what they're selling ... or decide that's not the line of work for them.

Okay, you chime in with some of your own while I go run some errands. Weather's great!


Cyrus said...

See some hot-dogger who speeds by me on the road or cuts me off while driving, getting pulled over by police a short time later.

OK..maybe not as sadisitic as some of yours :), but nevertheless can still be satisfying...

Anonymous said...

....mine is kind of sadistic....

Captain Asshole's parents hated me - no particular reason - they just feel "noone is good enough for their son."

I am WAITING for the day that he starts dating some white trash, non-educated, bleach blonde girl (he seems to attract that type b/c they put him on a pedestal, which he can't resist) that sees him as a meal ticket and accidently gets herself pregnant....Boy will his parents wish he stuck with me :)

hehehehe, that would make me VERY happy :)

Ben said...

Wow, glad to see that there's lots of unsatiated vengeance brewing in other people too!

I want to add that I hope all those thousands of double parkers -- even on busy single lane roads during rush hour, thinking it's okay jus because they put their flashers on -- get smashed into by a cargo truck, or at the very least get scraped by tens of scooters riding by.

Kevin Cheng said...

I like Cyrus' because I think of that all the time. And Taj, let me jsut say, as one with similar type parents, it's hard being the guy as well (harder even, since you're ALWAYS in that situation and the other person can just say "screw this").

People who are completely shameless with their affection (and I mean REALLY shameless) finding photos of their most intimate moments on the internet.

Try THAT for PDA.

head dump said...

My bf's car just got broken into yesterday.(while I was driving it) Those assholes smashed his driver window and took his GPS and did the same to another car 20ft away. I'd like those low-life SOB's drive off a cliff.

Van said...

they smashed the window while you were driving??

S said...

> Parents who don't watch their kids, lose them in a crowded place for a few frightful minutes, and then find them later (because hey, I'm not that mean).

I saw a sign at the Granville Island Public Market once that said: "Unattended children will be given espresso shots and a puppy." XD

head dump said...

oops, I was pissed when I wrote that comment. It was parked. I meant I drove his car for the day. Shoot, if they smashed it while i was in it I would've ran them over! then handed them my card :)